04. Festival of Lights (Part 4)
Intro Noel tells us that her Dad is working on the porch outside, so people that are into construction ASMR are going to have a super fun time this episode. Sophia is very much not into construction ASMR and Kaitlin very much is. Kat brings up the fact that the world can’t decide whether it's summer or autumn and Kaitlin points out that by the time the podcast is released it could be three hundred years from recording time. Kat decides to avoid discussing global warming and politics by playing D&D. The Aviary Kat asks what the gang are doing in the middle of the night after they had been introduced to their dorms. Laika is partying. Specifically, she wants to party with humans. She finds them facisting and wants to learn more about them. Naturally, she goes to Corbin’s room, as he is a paragon of normal human behaviour. Fran has her ear pressed to the wall she shares with Corbin. She is listening to the sound of partying and occasionally she goes and looks at herself angrily in the mirror, apparently grappling with some sort of internal conflict. Laika knocks on Frans door, and Fran plays it totally chill when Laika says there are three guys partying in Corbin’s room. Fran is saved from a very awkward conversation about the other parties she is definitely invited to, when a veiled figure runs down the hall and skids to a stop outside Frans room. The figure removes the veil, and it is the Goddess! Both Corbin and Laika immediately grovel at her feet, making her very uncomfortable. The Goddess begins to sign to the Guardians, using the hand motions of spells to create a language. Despite Laika not being able to understand her, the Goddess urges them to follow her, seemingly in a rush. The Goddess brings the Guardians down a hallway and up a long spiral staircase which emerges into an aviary at the very top. The room is absolutely silent. All the birds are dead. Corbin begins to earnestly cry, collapsing onto the ground. The Goddess strokes his hair, which mollifies and comforts him to a degree. Laika notices that the birds have been dead for a few hours and that there are no obvious physical reasons for the birds to be dead. Fran casts Identify and finds that the life has been drained from the birds by magical means. The Goddess divulges that the birds were fine in the morning and that her attendants dismissed her concerns when she went to them. Corbin begins gathering the tiny bird corpses into his arms like an inconsolable grieving person. Laika uses Divine Sense and notices a very strong undead presence clinging to the birds. The Goddess promises to help Corbin give the birds a proper burial on the condition he stops carrying them around. Corbin unceremoniously drops them. Laika senses that the undead presence is now somewhere below the aviary and is just larger than a bread box. Corbin swears to never eat bread again and the party decides to follow the undead trail. Throwing Shade As the party heads back down the tower, Laika holds the Goddess’s hand and is very stoked about it. The party exits back onto the main floor and Laika senses that the presence is within 20 feet of them. And it’s coming closer. Out of the dark, a 6ft tall figure made of dripping black smoke materialises. It is hovering half a foot off the floor and heading straight for the party. Roll initiative! Sophia rolls a natural twenty on the first attack roll. Laika, emboldened by holding the Goddess’s hand and always prepared for battle, does a sick backflip and insta-kills it with one hit. Everyone has a brief moment of awe, until three more shades step out of the walls. The shades attack the Goddess, which no one is happy about. After a brief intermission to name the three shades (Shane, Lampshade and Shawn, respectively) Fran casts Scorching Ray and kills Shane. In retribution Lampshade attacks Fran and attaches itself to her head, reducing her strength by 4. On Fran’s next turn she casts Shocking Grasp and dissolves it. Corbin casts Moonbeam on Shawn and Shawn is just a little turned on by it. The Goddess refuses to heal herself, and Laika stabs Shawn to death. Stealth Wolf After the battle with the shades it is clear that the Goddess is severely shaken up. She attempts to sign something but her hands are shaking too badly, so Laika and Corbin try to comfort her via hugs. As Fran stands to the side and pretends not to know these people, several guards run down the hall, inquiring about the Goddess’s distressed state and the commotion they heard. The Guardians begin to tell the Guards off for not doing their jobs properly, but soon the two Deer Vield Attendants come to the Goddess’s side. They admonish her for being out of her chambers so late at night and whisk her away without any acknowledgment of the Guardians. Fran states that she doesn't like them, despite being of the same people, and the Guardian’s decide to follow the Goddess stealthily. Corbin casts Pass Without a Trace on the party, however, Kaitlin critically fails and Corbin sets off a chain of Guards falling and punching each other. This makes Fran laugh really loudly, which results in both Corbin and Fran being escorted back to their rooms. Laika continues on alone and sees the Attendants stash the Goddess into her room and lock the door behind her. Laika attempts to follow the Attendants, but steps on one of their robes. Against all odds, she manages to convince them that she is a ghost through the use of Thaumaturgy. As the Attendants are hurrying away, Laika hears one of them mutter: Which is odd for a religion that worships a Goddess. Laika heads back to the Guardian’s rooms and fails at convincing Fran and Corbin that she is a ghost. After some helpful, nearly meta, direction from Corbin, Laika tells the group about what the Attendant said. Laika respects everyone’s pronouns, but Fran points out that the Attendants are really suspicious. The girls close out the episode with a discussion on the nature of metaphors and some sexy, sexy ASMR. A Message to Chantel '''Kaitlin: '''Chantel, listen to me. The last time I sat on your couch, I couldn't feel my butt for three days afterwards. I only sat there for two hours and I lost all bun feeling. For three days. So please, Chantel, listen to me. I need you to get a new couch. '''Kat: '''Okay Chantel. The code words is...popsicle. The sleeper agent is active. Go! Featured Characters The Guardians *Fran *Laika *Corbin NPCs *The Goddess *Shades (4) **Shade #1 **Shane **Lampshade **Shawn *Guards (Unclear ammount) *Deer Attendent #1 *Deer Attendent #2 Featured Locations *The City Temple *The Aviary